MIL to the rescue

Phew, one week of being a half-day homemaker was T.O.U.G.H!!!!!

There was never-ending chores, laundry, cooking, washing and cleaning! Kudos to all homemakers, especially to Connie, Lisa and Kei (for those that I missed out, it was not intentionally coz after being a half-baked one for a week, I have gone bonkers). Just yesterday, I washed 3 loads of laundry and ironing amidst this fiery furnace-like weather! Plus, Raeyen wet my bed as he crawled in early morning and he leaked. He woke me and said, "Mommy, it's an accident." Arrghhhh... I had to bring my quilt to the dry-cleaners that cost me $40!

The good news is, MIL has finally returned from her holiday and will help us mind the kids, especially Raeyen (not housechores) while we are at work. In fact, her return came in timely as I will be going to Incredible !ndia this evening till Thursday and both boys have parent-teacher meeting while I am away :(

I'm on print!

I'm featured on a 3-page "Blog & Bond" spread in Parents World magazine (14 May-Jun 09 issue).

I will try to post a soft copy of that article when I manage to scan those pages. Basically, there is an excerpt of my blog entry and an interview by its editor Daniel Goh. The header on the spread epitomises everything.

"Priscilla Tan did not trade
her family for her career as she tells DANIEL GOH how she still manages to measure success in terms of moments she enjoys with her children and husband that are priceless and irreplaceable."

P1 registration frenzy

We have no affiliation to any schools or clans or churches, we did no volunteer work, we have no "connections", as such we can only register Kieran under Phase 2C (whatever this means).

Maybe we did not do enough... Nevertheless, it's an emotionally tiring exercise as all parents only want the best for their kids within their means. I don't know if our current registration system is the right one but it's %&$#*&!

So now we are unsuccessful at Phase 2C balloting for kids who stay within 1km from school, what is our next "best" alternative? We have to register him at any school that still has vacancies.

I hate to say this... but I DON'T LIKE THE SYSTEM! Period.

To add to my dismay, I wasn't even in town during registration and had to rely on hubby to update me of yesterday's disappointing result. Perhaps GOD has better plans for Kieran. At least I'll be home on National Day morning.

I'm now 17 hours away from the opening of the 29th Olympic Games in Beijing.

Out and About

From this week onwards, my work schedule is going to be HECTIC & CHAOTIC!!!

I'm torn between family and work BUT I have to work.

I've been in Shanghai since Monday, back on Friday night or Saturday morning depending on the flight. Then off to Hong Kong and Guangzhou next Monday 21/4 till Thursday 24/4, then KL on Sunday 27/4 till Wednesday 30/4. Finally our holiday in Bangkok and Hua Hin from 1 May (Thu) and back on 5 May (Mon), on leave on 6 May (at home) then to KL again 7-8 May.

I'm not only going to miss the family miserably BUT will be loaded with work. Both which I'm trying to strike a balance and keep all of us sane. I don't know how my hubby is going to cope when I'm not around but he has given his support. THANK YOU, Darling!

So God please help us.

Getting mushy

Lately Kieran has been ultra mushy. He would come running to me and go, "Mommy, I love you." next come the kisses. When I tuck him in, he would go through the same process.

As for Raeyen, he clings to me like a koala. When hubby comes into the room to tuck him in, he would hug me tight and not let go. Till now, I still enjoy smelling Raeyen's fingers and toes for he seems like a baby to me (though now at 26 months old). I wonder when will this "smelling" stop. I mean, I can't remember when had I stopped smelling Kieran's toes.

Anyway, these little gestures the boys shower on me speak VOLUME!

I told Kieran today that I would be going to Shanghai for 2 days and he said, "Can you not go?" and when I explained why I had to and he said, "Then can I go with you?"

Earlier in the evening, Kieran said he didn't want to go to the childcare centre. I said he had to as no one could mind him in the afternoon after kindy. He said Siti could but I explained that she could not possibly mind him and Raeyen at the same time. He said he would behave. Sigh... I don't know what's best.

I'm Tired

Kieran's school work and Raeyen's cries are making me crazy. What am I to do to make them as angelic as possible? Or what have I not done right as a parent?

Kieran gets angry easily, Raeyen wants his way and screams all the time. Kieran is restless, Raeyen is full of energy.

They fight, Kieran doesn't give in, Raeyen throws toy at him. Kieran is possessive, Raeyen is persistent.

They whine, Kieran wants Mommy to do things for him while others can do just fine, even though Mommy may be occupied; Raeyen wants Mommy when Kieran goes near her.

Rushing home from work every day, despite more workload. Worrying about Kieran's academic development and character building, and Raeyen's well-being.

Kieran told me a horrific incident that Siti (helper) brought Raeyen when fetching him from childcare, and he saw Raeyen riding the swing car on the service road.

Siti is ultra-sensitive, little telling sends her tears down. She cried during 2 occasions in less than a month, for reason she refused to tell, only mentioned "I thought I did things wrong" upon probing. We miss Yani (ex-helper). Siti makes me worry more but she's already the third helper since Yani left.

Working day lunchtime is the only time I feel liberated - retail therapy becomes my quick-fix to daily home stress and the stress to achieve a work-life balance.

What's the best option?

Stay at home to mind the boys? I wish BUT impossible!

Mommy trap

Read another article by Frances Ong in today's Today, page 28 titled "Let's Not Take Our Laptops To Bed".

I could see me in her article, occasionally bringing work home and working at night. Sometimes feeling "imbalanced" between work and family. The demands to perform well as an employee and mother. During my last performance appraisal, my boss asked if I would like to do "more" on marketing than communications (the former has a better prospect in our company = promotion opportunity = more travelling and longer working hours). I considered his proposal and chose to stay put for obvious reasons - Kieran is going into formal schooling soon and Raeyen is still in his toddlerhood.

The devil in me selfishly thought that I wouldn't choose to have kids if I could turn back the clock. If not for them, I probably would:
1) be a high-flyer, driving my dream car - Lexus RX300, buying whatever I fancy and holidaying in Europe and exotic places such as Maldives at least once a year!
2) still be 46kg with no strechmarks and could flaunt in my pink floral bikini from Tannlines.
3) be better off...

There is of course no turning back! Kieran and Raeyen will always be my angels who bring me laughter and tears, satisfaction and frustration, happiness and sadness, proud moments and embarrassments, etc. Having them complete me as a wife to my hubby for the love we have shared.

Home away

Leaving for HK tomorrow morning for meetings and will be back on Thurdays night.

Hubby will be busy when I'm not around:

1. Kieran's term end concert @ Yamaha (he will play a piece solo and sing in a group) tomorrow at 1pm
2. Kieran has Chinese and English spelling on Tuesday and Wednesday
3. Endless demands, whimps and fancies from the boys
4. ...

Tomorrow morning, hubby has remedial training at the army, luckily Connie, Joo & Jamus are able to help out. Wonder what we will do when they leave for Perth for another couple of years. They have been great and supportive to us.

To kill some time on the plane when the inflight entertainment is boring, I ought to have a book and got "Life Swap" or "Swapping Lives" by Jane Green at San yesterday after I finished S Kinsella's Can You Keep a Secret.

Sleepless in Hong Kong

Went to office in the morning for a whole-day training, grabbed quick lunch, called Raeyen and managed to rent another book by S Kinsella - "The Undomestic Goddess". Finished the training, got back to my desk for quick emails before dashing to my taxi for the airport.

That's a kind of "topsy-turvy" life I lead sometimes... which I don't fancy! I didn't get the chance to hold & kiss Raeyen goodbye this morning coz he was sleeping in such an angelic way, hmm...

Before I boarded the plane earlier, I called Kieran @ 6.30pm.

Me: Hi sweetheart!
Kieran: Hello Mommy! Are you on the plane already?
Me: Not yet sweetie, Mommy is about to board the plane though.
Kieran: Are you taking Tiger Airways?
Me: No, I'm taking Singapore Airlines.
Kieran: Weeee, Singapore Airlines! I like! When are you going to take me on a Singapore Airlines plane?
Me: I promise I will but please don't pester me when, I certainly will take you and di-di on Singapore Airlines.
Kieran: Yeah!
Me: OK, Mommy gotta go, I love you, be good to everyone and Raeyen, and listen to Papa, Kak-kak and your teachers ok?
Kieran: OK! I love you too, Mommy.

Ooh, my heart melts, instantly.

Swelling ear

Kieran woke up this morning with a swell on his left ear, probably a result from some kind of nasty insect bite. Which also means, I gotta take urgent leave. Besides the swell which makes his ear larger than usual, his body was full of rash on all joints, groin and neck.

Took him to the PD at 9am with Raeyen so that 'lil bro can also get his 5-in-1 booster jab.

PD said Kieran also has mild bronchitis, which may also give the rash. The rash could also due to the rabbits or guinea pigs that he came into contact when we took the kids to the Animal Farm at Jalan Kayu yesterday afternoon.

Raeyen took his injection very well as usual - no cry. But the after-effect of this jab is fever for 2 days.

Kieran has 4 medications, including an antibiotic (Klacid) and Raeyen only has Paracetamol.

All these came in untimely as I will be going to Hong Kong for meeting tomorrow and only back late Friday night. At least my 3rd SIL agreed to come by my place tomorrow afternoon, phew!

Finished reading "Shopaholic & Sister", gotta rent another, maybe "Can You Keep a Secret" from S Kinsella again, just in case I don't fancy the movies onboard SQ, I still have my read.

Good Morning Vietnam!

I came to Vietnam (well, Hoi An, Danang to be exact) on Sunday from Singapore - HCMCity. Yes, Sunday is a dreadful day to travel for business :(

While I took Singapore Airlines to HCMCity, the experience on the domestic flight with Vietnam Airlines was a far cry from my national carrier. The attendant literally shoved the boxed meal into my face without a word! The wrapped up sandwich tasted weird and definitely didn't look appetizing but the 2 tiny bananas were good. The seats are very cramp as the leg-room is ultra narrow. Thank God the flight was only an hour and the pilot gave a smooth take-off and landing.

It rained in Danang and our transfer took about 45 minutes to Hoi An, Palm Garden Resort. After our whole-day workshop on Monday, together with 2 other colleagues, we went shopping in the evening and I bought 6 shawls at average US$5 each. I also took photos of an old local cafe.

I miss my 3 boys at home, especially Raeyen as he is still nursing a cold and runny nose. Hubby said Kieran was very cranky this morning and didn't want to go to school. I remember Kieran said to me on Sunday "I want Mommy!" as he knew I was departing later that day. I assured him that I love him and asked him to countdown to Friday as we will go to Chiangmai for holiday the next day with our family friends!

I really look forward to the holiday as it coincides with the Loy Krathong festival.

Hot hot hot

Warm heat greeted me upon exiting Changi Int'l Airport T1 last night from my trip to Germany. I was in Mannheim/Ludwigshafen on a working trip since Sunday and the cool weather there at about 20 degrees Celcius was fantastic! It was a long trip from Singapore as I took a connecting flight from Bangkok by Thai Airways. All direct flights were fully-booked, wonder if the recently ended IMF/WB event had a part to play?

As I landed at Frankfurt Airport past 6am local time, I called Kieran as he would have finished his mini graduation concert at Yamaha with his dad (Singapore is 6 hours ahead). He was elated when I called. I told him I had just landed and he asked if I would be taking the return flight right away. I laughed at his naivitivity.

Water Tower near Rosengarten:















We went to Heidelberg but I did not go up to the castle as my friends were there for many times already. For lunch, we had bratwurst with saurkraut and kartofen, it was yummy, see photo:















Most shops are closed on Sunday, except for the eateries, so it was kind of boring as I could buy nothing much basically. As berries are in season, we also had a mixed berries cake, see the window displays of a bakery:
I returned yesterday via Bangkok and was one of the first passengers arriving at the new Suvarnabhumi airport. It was spacious but the walk to my departure gate was a very long one and some airconditioning was not working. Our flight was delayed by 30 minutes as we waited for the bus to bring us to our plane. Not a smooth start I must say for the new airport. I have taken some photos as my transit time was almost 4 hours!

Disciplining Kids

I am now at Changi Airport T2 departure hall waiting for my flight to KL and thought I could make use of some time here to update my blog.

This morning on my way to work, I read an aticle on disciplining kids and laying ground rules on page 18 of Today. I agree with the author who is an educator and a mother of 6! Basic manners are important and such should be inculcated when a kids is still an infant - never underestimate how much our behavior may influence our kids. Basic rules should be followed and explained to the kids.

During the 1 week school holiday in Sep, we brought Kieran to his childcare centre and I was shocked that a 5-year old kid said "I smack you" to him shortly after he greeted Kieran. The teacher who was there said nothing but I quickly told the kid that it was wrong of him to say such rude remark and should not say it again. Alas, he said it again and I wonder if he did it on purpose. Yet the same teacher did nothing! I called the centre manager up and told her what happened. I believe that if all of us (teachers, relatives, parents, etc) were to work together to ensure such behaviour cannot be condone, the kids will be more well-mannered and also, refrain from saying "this is my one". It irks me when someone says that!

OK, gotta go for now as the airport free Internet access machine is going to lock me out in 1 minute.

"Music is a discipline and a mistress of order and good manners, she makes the people milder and gentler, more moral and more reasonable." Martin Luther
"The hope of a secure and livable world lies with disciplined nonconformists who are dedicated to justice, peace and brotherhood." Martin Luther King, Jr

Coming home to 2 koalas

The moment I stepped out of the arrival hall last Friday night, Kieran gave me a hug... hmm, that's a nice feeling, and he asked, "Mommy, do you have a surprise for me?" - well he expects that after a business trip.

When we reached home at around 9pm, Yani was making Raeyen sleep. Once I stepped into the bedroom, he got up and hugged me like a koala - hmm, that's another nice feeling.

I saw a documentary on Animal Planet or NatGeo over the weekends focusing on koalas in Australia. The person-incharge of the AKF (Australian Koala Foundation) said that koalas cling naturally. A koala's hug is similar to that of a human baby's, so much so that its hug can melt an adult man's heart if he ever gets the honor to be hugged by this cute furry marsupial (and please, koalas are not bears). So imagine how blissful I must have felt when I was hugged by 2 koalas of mine. After Kieran passed his toddlerhood, I began to forget how his babyhood was like until Raeyen came along. Raeyen allows me to reminisce the bond with a baby/infant/toddler.

At 13 months now, Raeyen is into the phase of "learning by seeing", he can roll his hands to the tune of "Wheels on the Bus" and he enjoys Barney! He can toss his head up to emulate that of the elephant's trunk! His goodbye wave is reverse as he waves to himself and that's funny to watch. He begins to have separation anxiety which means we have to KISS (Keep It Short & Sweet) on goodbyes. As he is our 2nd child, we sort of lax a little when it comes to his development. When I was expecting Kieran, we were very excited and followed his development religiously at the Babycenter website.

Yesterday (Sunday), I showed Kieran this blog and he was amazed to see some familiar photos. I told him it's my eDiary and when he grows up, he could read what I have documented. I hope to make this a little keepsake for him and Raeyen. As I was showing him, I saw a comment from his previous teacher, Teacher Kei and I told him about her whom he likes alot during her music and movement lesson. It's because of Teacher Kei that he likes to fiddle on the keyboard and pretend to step on the pedals. I hope he can be as musically-inclined as Gabriel; he now attends the Yamaha Music Wonderland course every week and he likes Ms Liew's class.

Tomorrow, we will celebrate our 4-year koala's birthday at the childcare center and I will surely update this little milestone of his in my blog.

"Cute is when a person's personality shines through their looks. Like in the way they walk, every time you see them you just want to run up and hug them." Natalie Portman

Confession of a Working Mom

A working mom is a juggler who multi-tasks as time is never enough! She rushes home every workday to see her brood. She is guilt-striken when she has to work overtime or travel; she feels the same when she has to apply urgent leave to mind her kids. She is afraid to be seen as being not committed to work by her superiors and peers. She tries relentlessly to perform at work and at home. She is ... me.

At Kieran's kindergarten Principal-Parent Meet early this year, one SAHM (stay-at-home-mom) said that her stress for staying at home way surpassed that of a working mom. She put 101% to her family and kids' well-being and when her child fails her, she becomes depressed and felt all that she has done were not rewarded or appreciated. While I was never a SAHM, I can relate to what she was saying and couldn't agree more.

I told hubby that if we were loaded, I would like to have 4 kids, be a SAHM and have 2 domestic helpers. It is of course wishful thinking. Some may say it is still possible to have 4 kids - just make do with whatever we have. But it is easily said than done for 1. we are not young anymore and 2. our quality of life will head South.

Being a working mom and having no other relatives to help mind the kids, Yani becomes a great help to us. Our kids adore her and she dotes on them. Yani is from Indonesia, joined when Kieran was 6 months old, she could barely speak English then! Almost 3.5 years now, she can converse in English pretty well and some of our friends thought she's from the Philippines. However, she plans to return home soon and it will be hard for us to find someone as good as her. While Kieran goes to a Kindergarten and childcare centre on weekdays, Yani minds Raeyen all by herself. So to get another trusty helper is going to be really tough! Like they always say, cest la vie! Till then, we will just take one step at a time.

"That fact is that child rearing is a long, hard job, the rewards are not always immediately obvious, the work is undervalued, and parents are just as human and almost as vulnerable as their children'" Benjamin Spock